Contact Us

11 Reasons You Won’t Be Getting a Father’s Day Present

Black Friday Shoppers Hunt For Holiday Bargains ties
Chris Hondros, Getty Images

It’s hard to be a good father, but it’s easy to be a lousy father since even bad mothers at least have to endure nine months of pregnancy and 27 hours of labor.

It should be illegal for bad fathers to receive any kind of Father’s Day present, but, hey, that’s what ugly ties are for, right? Here are some signs you bad dads won’t be getting a present.

1. You’re putting a lot of hope in the belief that your kid’s university of choice will accept ‘Camel Cash’ as a tuition payment.

2. You took your daughter to the strip club and the dog track on ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day.’

3. Giving money to your kids isn’t considered noble when there’s a court order behind it.

4. You didn’t hear from your sperm donor recipient on Mother’s Day.

5. The mother of your child got a special celebrity to announce that you would become a father: Maury Povich.

6. Hand puppets pretending to be your children can’t buy you presents.

7. You’re Michael Lohan.

8. Your girlfriend still doesn’t consider paying for the DNA test as a Mother’s Day present.

9. Your daughter became the first woman in space because she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

10. Your paternity suit settlement involved paying for a birthday party.

11. You can never remember your kid’s name, so you had it tattooed on their forehead.

More From NewsTalk 1290

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://newstalk1290.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on NewsTalk 1290 quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here.

Sign up for an account to comment, share your thoughts, and earn points to get great prizes.

Register on NewsTalk 1290 quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!