Well, it's finally happened. In the age of reboots, remakes, and unwanted sequels, they have finally touched what we assumed everyone tacitly agreed was untouchable -- 'A Christmas Story.' Just in time for this Christmas (naturally) an "official sequel" is being released straight to DVD and Blu-Ray in a handy-dandy package with the original. It looks terrible. The trailer starts with a good ten seconds of the original 'Christmas Story,' just to remind you why you're about to be so very angry. Signs that it won't be very good include, but are not limited to -- 1) the scene where one of Ralph's friends nervously rubs a lady's blouse and gets chased by a sailor. 2) Really?! They're just going to go ahead and redo the whole leg-lamp thing? Just redo the whole thing?!!! and, 3) Daniel Stern.

Also not promising is basically anything else in the trailer. Time to rage-eat an entire ice cream cake, because how did this get made?