Even though my complete lack of self-control dictates that any museum trip I go on in Amsterdam be "sponsored" by legal marijuana (which would make The The Museum of Medieval Torture Instruments (MMTI) infinitely more terrifying) I'm still excited to visit.

Torture was a pretty standard punishment for most crimes in the Middle Ages: rape, murder, heresy, jaywalking... Maybe not that last one. Today in "modern times," torture implements like the Iron Maiden above are "bizarre and foreign concepts" to us... Uh, wait, that's not true at all -- the tools have just become a lot sleeker. With that in mind, this place is a pretty sobering reminder that humans have always had a knack for finding ways to make each other miserable.

torturemuseum.nl

MMTI has over 100 torture tools on display, plus a huge collection of photos, drawings, and wax carvings. Plus, it's just a two-minute walk from Central Station. PLUS, if you don't go and they find out, they'll twist your nipples off with a hot tongs.

torturemuseum.nl
torturemuseum.nl

From the official website: This exhibition shows reality as it existed less than two centuries ago. By setting gruesome examples, Public Authorities demon­strated their right to do as they pleased with the lives and bodies of their subjects. If the grotesque diversity of instruments of torture still invokes feelings of horror, it is no more than the designers’ intended effect.

As if you needed another reason to visit Amsterdam.