Now I know there are a lot of bathrooms in Wichita Falls and the surrounding area and I’m not even going to pretend to have visited them all, but after a little research in the form of asking a few peeps and from my own experience I’ve come up with a list of five of the grossest bathrooms in the area.

Let’s start with the truck stop at Jolly. To quote my man Joe Cayden, this bathroom is straight out of the Saw movies. Dingy, dim and downright creepy this bathroom is not as foul smelling as some of the other bathrooms on the list, it’s just in need of some serious renovation. I mean, look at that floor…what the hell happened there? It looks like years of piss flowing freely across it have eaten the sealer right off of the concrete. Jolly Truck Stop has an excellent reputation for their food, atmosphere and friendly staff but this bathroom is in need of some serious attention.

This should come as no surprise as most rest stops are pretty nasty, but I can’t ignore the obvious. Like most of the bathrooms on this list, the pungent odor precedes the actually appearance of this crapper and it more than lives up to the smell. It comes as no surprise that three of the five bathrooms on this list are located on the highway because for some reason people feel like they a) don’t have to flush the toilets or urinals there and b) it’s perfectly okay to throw your toilet paper on the floor. I feel the need to scrub the soles of my shoes with a steel wool and bleach after I walk out of this bathroom.

Sorry City of Wichita Falls, but throwing ass loads of pine-sol down to cover up the odor doesn’t make up for the fact that this bathroom is just damn gross. It’s one of those fake-out bathrooms that you smell that fresh piney scent right before you walk into what amounts to the home of some serious “soup kitchen” antics. I seriously expected to find a used condom with a baby mouse in it in the corner. And what’s up with that trail leading to the drain? It’s not wet…it’s a frickin’ stain for god’s sake! The soles of my shoes came nowhere near that stain because I actually want to be able to wear my shoes in the house again.

This was actually the first bathroom that came to mind when I chose this assignment. Not only has this bathroom been filthy every time I’ve used it but you can smell the sumbitch IN THE DINING AREA. It’s absolutely horrible to have to sit through the smell of raw sewage while trying to eat a chicken plank. You can actually smell sewage outside of the building so it must be an issue beyond cleanliness but you can’t tell me the employees haven’t noticed it. So I’m officially calling ‘em out…YOUR RESTAURANT SMELLS HORRIBLE! The really bad thing is that it sits right off the highway and for some people it is their only lasting impression of Wichita Falls. In their defense the food is fine and the service is okay but I usually get my food to go because I can’t get over the smell.

Once again the City of Wichita Falls takes a hit. I understand they can’t control what people do since there’s not someone there monitoring it all the time and the whole sink incident could’ve happened right before I got there, but since it was in this kind of shape when I rolled up on it I have no choice but to include it in this post. Honestly it’s not one of the worst smelling public bathrooms I’ve encountered so its got that going for it but I can’t see anyone wanting to use a toilet in that bad of shape. The half-chewed dog bone actually added to the filthiness because upon first glance you think it’s a turd on the floor. In defense of the Parks & Recreation Department the people who do stupid things like tear up sinks and think it’s okay to just throw stuff on the floor of public restrooms are really the ones who are most accountable here.

I’m sure I didn’t make a lot of friends with this post and there are probably equally or much nastier bathrooms that I haven’t been in so that’s something to keep in mind but there’s no denying these bathrooms are in need of attention of some sort. Now I’m gonna go home and burn my shoes after walking on these surfaces.