Science Says Dabbing Pizza Will Help You Be Less of a Fat Slob
The biggest pizza news since the stuffed crust became a thing is here.
According to a new study by LabDoor magazine, blotting your pizza with a napkin to get rid of excess grease can save you 40 calories and four-and-a-half grams of fat per slice, which should please the pizza rat, assuming he cares about his figure. We can only assume this research took place at the Institute for All Things Wonderful.
What does this all mean? Well, perhaps you won't feel so bad about devouring another piece of garlic bread in its place or polishing off another beer, instead. At its healthiest, dabbing adds up to roughly 20-and-a-half slices a year and 1.9 pounds saved on your waist, so feel free to grab another slice of that Pope pizza.
This is definitely earth-shattering news for all of us, since the average American enjoys 23 pounds of pizza annually. That's about 87 slices, but if you dab you're cutting loose so much grease and so many excess calories, it's as if you chowed down on a mere 66 slices.
So, what this really means is the "Dabbing Pizza Diet" is going to become all the rage in three, two, one...