Here Are 10 Rules Every Texan Should Remember Before Traveling North
We knew Texans were proud folks, but we were taken a little by surprise at just how prideful some of y'all are, judging by our response to '10 Rules Every Damn Yankee Should Remember When Visiting Texas' story.
But that also got us to thinking ... what rules should Texans take to heart if they ever decided to (Heaven forbid) move out of Texas, or just visit somewhere else for a little while?
We could have gone on and on for our Yankee Rules list, and after putting a lot of thought into this one, narrowing it down to 10 rules for Texans was pretty difficult, too.
But keep these in mind, fellow Texans, if you ever decide to venture north of the Red River.
1. Be friendly. You have a reputation to uphold.
Yes, some of those damn Yankees might be a little freaked out when you wave or nod if you make eye contact with them. They might even be a little weirded out when you open a door them. Hell, they probably haven't smiled in years, so yours could be shocking. But do it anyway. Spread the Texan love.
2. Don't eat the barbecue.
You think those folks up there know how to do this?
3. For the love of everything holy, don't say "pop."
It's a coke. And don't even think about trying to order a Dr Pepper. They won't have it.
4. Don't be scared to use our expressions.
Imagine the look on their faces when you say "down yonder," "come hell or high water," "sweatin' like a whore in church," or "doesn't have a pot to piss in."
5. Pack the essentials.
This should include a Whataburger with cheese, breakfast tacos, Dr Pepper, cowboy hat and boots, your Willie Nelson and Bob Wills albums, a case of Shiner Bock, a box of kolaches from West and a framed picture of the night sky, just so you don't forget where you came from.
6. Have low expectations while stopping on the road.
You won't have a Buc-ees bathroom to stop at, so try to hold off the tears, and maybe pack some hand sanitizer with your other essentials.
7. If you're leaving after September ...
Don't forget to pack your heaviest winter clothes. This will likely involve going shopping for a heavy coat, Long Johns, gloves and ear muffs. It might get below 70. And if you're leaving in November or later, God help you.
8. Teach 'em how to dance.
Texans don't line dance, y'all. We Two-Step.
9. Don't complain or brag too much.
Other states just can't help it, really. The views won't be as good as what you see here, but one thing Texans can claim to be is humble (except when bragging about how friggin' awesome Texas is). There's some pretty country out there, but keep this picture in the back of your mind (or take it with you).
10. Get home ASAP.
When you see this sign, you've made it.