Today is THE most important holiday this weekend. Yes, that's right December 23rd is Festivus. What should you do to mark the occasion in Wichita Falls? Don't worry, I got your back.

Back in 1997, the world was introduced to a new Holiday. Festivus, invented by Frank Costanza sometime in the late 60's or early 70's when his son was a kid.

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. Out of that a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us.

What Do You Need for Festivus?


The most important part of Festivus is the aluminum pole. Best part, no decoration. Don't have to get out the lights or ornaments. Put it up and you're good to go. Good news, several local Wichita Falls places are ready to hook you up with aluminum poles.

  • Check out PigginPoles at 6985-B Old Jacksboro Hwy
  • Check Out Steel & Alloy Specialties Inc at 1022 E Fort Worth St
  • Finally, Wichita Metal Products at 1020 Vermont St

Remember, shop local when you can.

The Airing of Grievances


Ahhh, yes the best part of Festivus in my opinion. Letting people know about all the things they did since the last Festivus that pissed you off. Dear, Wichita Falls since our last Festivus, you have still not learned that the left lane is for passing ONLY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SIT IN THE LEFT LANE OF A TWO LANE HIGHWAY (OR ANY HIGHWAY)! I will settle for that being my only grievance until you guys get that one fixed, but BELIEVE ME I have more.

Finally, The Feats of Strength


This is to prove who the strongest in the family is. I would suggest going to one of our Wichita Falls gyms to show how strong you are. I went this morning and I was definitely not the strongest one in Crunch Gym today. You could also maybe take the family to one of the boxing gyms and punch the ever loving crap out of each other. Looks like Pueblo Boxing opens back up at 5:45 this afternoon.

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No matter how you celebrate Festivus today, be sure you spend it with family. After all that's what it's all about. You maybe yelling and beating the crap out of them. You're still spending the holidays together and that's what's important.

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